were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Randomize
