Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
