i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
