Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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