I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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