She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Randomize
