i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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