I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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