Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
