Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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