took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
