do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
