Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
