I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize