I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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