Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
