I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
tell me about the eggs
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
