Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Text me some of your sweat
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
