if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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