chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
