I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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