We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
