I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize
