is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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