MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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