your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
