I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
