So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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