I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
