She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
