Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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