I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
