yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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