Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
