My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
