Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Can you bring me the toilet please
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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