Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Randomize