You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
