Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
