ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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