she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
