we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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