Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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