He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
