Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Green mimosas i think yes
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
