i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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