Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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