If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Use "feeling words"
Yay
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
