But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
