You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
