So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
