Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
