Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
