my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Randomize
