I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
I love you.
Bad choice
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
