i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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