All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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