Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
