we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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