i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Randomize
