If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
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