Non-Jews are for practice
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
